Friday, August 22, 2008

I finally finished my first week here and things are just DUCKY! (thats for you reece). it felt like it went by extremely slowly, but go by it did and now we take a look back-

THE FIRST WEEK: A 60 MINUTES RETROSPECTIVE. (cue inspirational music)

Ok so we couldn't book sixty miutes. Mostly cause Couric is a witch and Anderson Cooper and i don't get along since the whole 'pine cone' incident. But! I can tell you about it. Yes, i know i am much more handsome than anderson cooper.

So the first thing we need to remember about the beggining week is its all about first impressions. So i have told people i met this week the following;
I Surf.
I am crazy rich.
I live in my car*.
I spent last summer in Greece.
I spent last summer in Normandy.
I spent this summer in Holland.
I spent this summer in Greece, Normandy, And Holland
I am more handsome than anderson cooper.
Pretending to be someone you aren't is the ONLY way to make friends anywhere. Write that down.

*(i did actually tell some people this one)

Second thing we need to remeber is that you need to get to know your professors.
My English preofessor is Mrs. Griffin. She is a cool lady. She is younger and blonde and although lacking innovation and vision for her students (as far as i can tell) is a cool teacher and a good lady.
My American History and American Politics Professor is Dr. Lukens. He is a great big guy with dark hair and a creepy mustache. He is one of the only people whom i have met who would talk about politics for as long as you want. if you combined mr. pena and mr willis from the high school you would get Dr. Lukens. I love his classes and like him too. he's very conservative so we get along great. he wears suspenders. just throwing that out there.
My Biology teacher is Professor McCarthy. He is a very nice guy. He Spews Gary-isms. yes thats right. Gary-isms. He says things like 'a nuetron walks into a bar and gets a drink, when he tries to pay the bartender says "no charge". Ya he is full of jokes like dad, and uncle bob. It makes me miss home a bit. I like him too.
My digital photography teacher is named Tom Cicceli and, even though my italian is a bit rusty, Tom Cicceli roughtly translated means man i don't like at all. and thats all i have to say about that (he said in a dim-witted, southern manner.)
My bio lab teacher is very strange. it you combined richard spitzer, jamie from mythbusters and liberace you woud get Dr. Butler. ya.

The third thing you have to remember is that this is my first time in all of these buldings. So i am using these bathrooms for the first time. And don't get me wrong they are clean and tidy but i'm insane so when i use a bathroom i use the same stall/urinal everytime. I have used the same urinal in the church my entire life, the same in the dome, middle primary intermediate and high school(s), the same urinal in ever wal-mart i have ever graced, the same stall in every gas station, rest stop ect ect i have ever used. i even used the same urinal at a freeway reststop in nevada two years after my innaugural urination at the place on tour three years ago and last year. so this week i had to make some very permanent decision about my future education urination and defecation location. these stalls and urinals i have picked out will be the only ones i will ever use in this fine institiute of learning until the day i die.

Thats about it. i am a Gila Monster Now. GILA HANK!!!! so i guess that is cool. my bishop is bishop mullineaux and he looks just like mike huckabee. i'll get a pic if i can. that is all i've got for my first week of gila-hood. and remember children; never take wooden nickels.


Rylee said...

"education urination and defecation location".......this line almost made me fall out of my chair! you kill me! Glad the first week went ok. Go Gila Monsters!

Kates said...

I am beating the table I am laughing so hard at the urination. I hope none of those stalls every go out of order. that could be treach!

reece said...

who are you?

Sherrod and Sarah said...

Race, We must be related. I have used the same urinal/ stall in every building. I will even put off the said urge to go until my stall is available,(with some added time for airing out, of course). but i totally feel you on that one. either you are not insane, or we both are. thanks for the laughs.


Race Davis said...

i'm race

Chelsee said...

seriously your blog blows all of ours out of the water. So funny!

Kathleen said...

RAce, you made me laugh until i cried. You are so darn funny! A little scarey though about you and Sherrod being so much alike in the elimination process:(. I hope you go somewhere on your mission where they actually have bathrooms and not holes in the floor:). I was catching up on my typing and thought i would check the blogs and you seriously made my day!