Caution; the following contains a few sherwood-isms
So this is a brief view of what my life is: tonight emily came over like usual and was gonna watch Heroes (a pretty cool show by the bye) with us. We got about ten minutes into the show when i feel the urge to use the loo. i leave the den and go into the bathroom. I shant go into too much detail but i was finished doing what i came to do and then i looked around. it is easy for one to see an out of place addition; it is dificult for one to notice the missing article. I was devoid of TP. This is not unique to me, it has happened all across the world....and yet at that moment i felt so very very alone. I had no options to pursue, no avenues to venture down....i was trapped. luckily just at that moment i realized i had in my pants the key to my salvation. I could be vindicated by the phone in the pants around my ankles. I pulled out my cell phone and sent a text to my saving grace Matt. ME; you should bring me some toilet paper. I sent the message and looked at the phone in my hand; it was a sight of sweet salvation sent to save a soul in a sad sad state. The reply text took me off guard. MATT: next commercial.
The rage in my soul cannot be described in mere words; the cry of a banshee is most comparable. I would wait. There was nothing else i could do. I sat and sat and waited. ME: you are a bad man. MATT: it happens. Ten minutes go by and still nothing. ME: dude come on MATT: we fast forwarded through that commercial. i'll get ya next time around. The aching numbness of prolonged presence on on porcelain is paralizing my legs. I wait. ME: there is a special spot in hell for people like you sir. MATT: don't distract me its a really intense part. what a jerk. ME: this makes me want to vomit on your head sir. MATT: just one moment. My roommate is a sonuvabitch.
It was THIRTY MINUTES from initial sit to the final zip. matt brought me the TP after the sodding episode was over. that is a special kind of twisted mean. Matthew Alder Platt is an insufferable bastard and there is no other way to say it.
Here is another fun story i forgot to tell: Jon Schmidt came to town. He is a famous piano player if you didn't know. Any hoo he was super fun.
Most people take pictures with jon schmidt....jon schmidt takes pictures with bryan and tanner.
these two are hillarious. they make me feel at home again. (notice they are signing autographs)this is joe, byan, tanner, me, tiffany, wendy, jon schmidt and joyce.