Friday, February 6, 2009

Haircuts and Public Speaking

Well this is what i found on the floor in the bathroom this morning. That is human hair. In the picture it doesn't look like a lot but that is about 5 felon's worth of hair. i heard clippers running for about an hour last night and apparently the gentlemen in Nellie Lee had a barber shop party. Its a lot of hair and they just left it on the floor. Nice. But its ok. They are the FSSHOA. (Future State Sponsored Housing Occupants of America). Free haircuts in prison, boys.

On a much better note today is friday. I really needed this friday to come. Sisters o' mine remember TGIF with boy meets world every friday? We would make milkshakes and get that old green blanket out and we would all have on dads old TEP t-shirts as pajamas? Good times. I was cosidering the term TGIF (i'm on an acronym kick today, don't judge me) and then i found out that there is an alternate version of that here at the EAC. IARJSVETITWAIDHSFAFD. Hard to pronounce unless you are from the rez, but it stands for 'I am really just so very excited that its the week end and i don't have school for a few days.' Everyone says it. Faculty, staff, students, inmates that work on the lawns here, everyone. 'Happy IARJSVETITWAIDHSFAFD to ya!' is common on campus on friday. I think. Maybe its just me.

Also my public speaking class is becoming an adventure. I had a 1000 word speech to write that was due today and i did it all last night. For some reason i just couldn't focus and do the work until the last minute. But i figured i'd attach the paper i wrote so you guys could read it if you want to. Bear in mind that it was a last minute paper of the most extreme nature so its not too great. Don't judge.

However, the absolute best part of public speaking are the questionaires. When you give a speech you have to give everyone in the class a paper with 10 questions on it. Do you know about this topic? What do you know? How can i make the topic interesting? yadda yadda yadda.

So tanner and i were getting these papers on subjects about which we know little or nothing. or we just felt like being punks. So we started answering the questions you say.....interesting ways. here are a few examples from both tanner and i:

  • Q: What do you know about hip hop dancing? A: Not much.

  • Q:Would you like to learn more? A:WOULD I!

  • Q:How can i help teach you about hip hop? A: Change my ethnicity.

  • Q:what is popping? (apparently it is an actual hiphop move) A: Transforming corn kernels into a light, fluffy, crunchy treat to be enjoyed during a movie through butter and salt application(s). A: Rupturing the plastic blisters of bubble wrap.

  • Q:what is b-boying (again, apparently a move) A: its illegal in 15 countries and some counties in utah.

  • Q: What is locking (dance move i can't do) A: securing the door of your dorm room from the invasion of a crazy ex-girlfriend.

  • Q: How many gallons of oil does the U.S. pump a month from offshore drilling? A: 7

  • Q: do you know how much oil is in the undiscovered oil reserves off the coast? A: no, its undiscovered.

  • Q:Do you know what barack obama's major in college was? A: change...maybe hope.

  • Q: Do you know what event occured at Harvard Law while barack was attending? A: Change A: institution of the dollar menu.

  • Q: do you know how barack obama's father died? A: Change. A: His heart stopped beating.

  • Q: do you know what dressing would be applied to a puncture wound? A: ranch or thousand island, depending on the event.

  • Q: Have you ever been in a car accident? A: yes

  • Q: have you ever been in a submerged car? A: not on purpose.

  • Q: How do you feel about police brutality? A: two knight sticks way up!

  • Q: Who is rodney king? A: Elvis's little brother? A: Heir to the whopper with cheese fortune.

  • Q: What is the leading STD in the U.S. (she's a nursing major) A: The flu.

  • Q: What do you use to protect yourself during sexual contact? (This one is my favoite considering she handed it to the two mormoniest boys at EAC) A: A helmet

  • Q: Describe soemone who you think is a good leader or who inspired you: Mr. Rogers 6'1, 170 lbs, wears sweaters alot, always removing his shoes.

And yes, we turned these in.


The Tanner and Bryan Experience said...


Karen Martin said...

This is Bryan. The helmet one is my favorite.

Kathleen said...

Early Saturday morning this was especially entertaining and funny!!!!! But i can't see the attached speech.

Kates said...

I like the questions about Obama

Smiths said...


Chelsee said...

Rodney King isn't Elvis's brother? Funny Bud. I want to see the speech! And yes I remember TGIF, I thought those shows where amazing. I would still probably watch them if they were on TV!

Jayderaid said...