Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Talents i didn't know were under my bushel...

So as hinted at before, being a way from home brings out strange things in people.

For example, you gain lots of wierd abilities at college
Little talents, skills, random bits of knowledge
Like learning to rhyme ( i do that all the time)
But honestly, i have learned that one of the college students most valuable assets is his: NOSE

There are several things we use our nose for on a daily basis:
  • The eat place (the cafeteria). You have to walk through a larger building to get to the eat place and as you are walking there you can, from quite a distance, determine if what is for dinner is edible/worth your time. For example, if you smell something similar to the inside of a microwave after a hot dog has exploded, probably in for a rough meal. But, if you smell something resembling tomato sauce, you just may live to tell the tale. And there is no shame in fleeing from the eat place; he who fights and runs away lives to fight another day.
  • The Bathroom. As i've stated the nellie lee bathroom is communal, and being that i share it with the brightest eager young minds of tommorow (extreme sarcasm implied) i get to undergo things i wouldn't wish on Pol Pot. Every time i go in to the bathroom i think of Ashlee Martin and her inability to use a public restroom. It can get nasty at times just by virtue of the fact that there are 20 guys using it, not even to mention when they try to make it dirty.
  • Laundry. now this is pretty sketchy. But i am not alone in this skill. It used to be that i wore it and then washed it. Long ago my friends, long ago. Now the intricate art of sniffing is utilized to determine when something needs to be washed. Gross, i know but its the way of the Gila Monster. This laundry business leads me to another point-
  • Laundry is now subject to the ol' 'how many times can i wear it' game. A rought breakdown goes as follows:

  1. T- Shirts- At least twice permitting you haven't sweated copiously while wearing.
  2. Button up shirts- About 3 times permitting of course no streneous labor was performed there in. But lets be honest, this is college not the naval academy.
  3. Jeans- Lets put it this way, a long time. Long time.
  4. Under shirts- try not to repeatwear. as tanner puts it "i don't play that game"
  5. Socks and Underwear- Now before you say ew gross and run away just hear me out. Socks and underwear are on a strict 'do not reuse' rule. HOWEVER if it is an emergency, even the best man does not know what he will do. I hope and pray none of you will ever have to find out. I'm pretty sure that is what the prayer refers to when it speaks of 'the valley of the shadow of death'.


Smiths said...

I have to be honest, when I read your post about haircuts that showed that NASTY picture, I scrolled down to ensure that I didn't have to look at that picture while I read. It makes me wanna barf. I can only imagine what it smells like. Bless your heart.

Kathleen said...

Having just come from a re-rootcanal - AGAIN I needed a good laugh and once again you didn't disappoint! So darn funny!!!

Bret said...

Long time stalker, first time commentor. Race, be sure to perfect the sniffing rule for laundry because this may be a lifelong skill (that's what college is for right?) I still exercise this practice about twice a month and yes, in emergencies, one must use whatever means and resources he has available. Question: is no underwear worse than spoiled underwear? I shall not answer that.

Smiths said...

Also, I've been meaning to tell you, there's something...I dunno....sweet, perhaps odd, (not thinking of the right word) that in the top right corner of your blog it reads: Cutest Blog On The Block. Awwww.

Kates said...

Do your laundry buddy!

Jann said...

Very, very funny. It sounds like you are learning valuable lifelong lessons.

Jayderaid said...

small side note on the laundry sniffing... I heard once that it is harder to smell your "own" smell because we are subjected to it... all the time. So beware of this 'could be' stipulation in your laundry smelling. Maybe your roomie could help you out??? Also I love the west side story music you've got on here (good times)

Markee said...

Just go commando if there is an emergency... Do it once and there's no goin back! It's so freeing!!

Chelsee said...

Markee that is TMI! :) Your 18, who needs clean laundry!?!

The Tanner and Bryan Experience said...

Asking his room mate/ friends won't help him. We all do it. Atta boy Race!