Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Wilderness Survival Adventure

This week my long lost brother and I had a wilderness survival adventure as a last hoorah before we each go off to different schools. It is reminiscent of the popular television shows like "Survivor Man" or "Man vs. Wild" or "Dual Survival". I will do my best to document this great journey, but it might be a little hard for you tenderfoots (tenderfeet?) to grasp. To help you understand I will start with a short list of terms that should NEVER be used and their acceptable alternatives.

Words Not To Use

  • Camping/backpacking/hiking. The correct term is surviving
  • If you fail at camping you are just a lousy camper. If you fail at surviving you are dead. Higher stakes.
  • Woods/forest. It should be referred to as the wilderness.
  • The root-word of wilderness is wild. The root word or forest is rest. We aren't resting. We are surviving.
  • Build/ Make. You don't "build" a shelter or "make'' a snare. We fashion things.
  • As in "I fashioned a bow out of a willow limb." or "I fashioned pants from that tree moss."
The following pictures and videos are designed as highly educational and instructional. They were filmed on site by survival professionals. Do not attempt anything you see on this blog. We headed off into the wilderness with little more than an empty canteen, a shoe lace and a dream. The following is a list of the top enemies we were against while in the wilderness:

  1. Bears
  2. Dying
  3. Not knowing how to set a snare
  4. Dehydration
  5. Getting lost
  6. Not having food



Here are our backpacks all ready to go.

Ready to survive
Despite the popular theory, I did not break this tree.
A big rock face we saw on our adventureNear some pretty awesome countryThis was the site we picked for our basecamp.
We quickly began to fashion a shelter.
In progress
The finished product

Shelter sweet shelter. We began the fire starting process by a friction method (rubbing 2 sticks together)

I will now post some educational videos. WARNING: High Belly Laugh Content.


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And yes he really did eat that.

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We went out to set snares in the wilderness to see what we could catch for dinner.

We had rope in hand and found a great place that was full of squirrels. It was then we realized we did not know how to make snares.


That is the brunt of our adventures. We experienced swarms of wild bees and I vomited through the night. But we did what we had to do.

After comparing our skills to those of the survivalists we see on TV we can only reach 1 conclusion about them. Those shows have to be fake.


12 comments:

Ashlee's Annals said...

Everything in my life just got better after having watched these videos and read this blog. And then my baby started crying....

Markee said...

the only thing that comes to mind when i see this post are the words of my hommies the NWA,"bow down" Edward Michael Grylls, the Davis brothers just sent you back to cub scouts. You may be "Bear" Grylls but these two are obviously Webelos (webelos = the rank above bear in cub scouts for all you scout hating davis's)

Chelsee said...

I laughed so hard I cried, again! Does chantz know he laughs like a girl?

Rylee said...

never laughed harder, you guys are the biggest dorks!!

Tina said...

As I said numerous times while raising my children...."The only thing worse than giggle box girls is giggle box boys! You boys are crazy!!!

Kates said...

Tears are running down my face. I think you need a tv show for sure!!! I needed that!!

The Tanner and Bryan Experience said...

Race you are like a fine wine you just get better with age. Glad to see that your sense of humor didnt go down on your mission (mine very well might have :(
THat was awesome

-Tanner

Sherrod said...

Who was the girl filming? She laughs loud!!

Linds said...

I LOVE YOU GUYS! Hilarious.

WJ said...

"It was then we realized we did not know how to make snares." This post is awesome. Definitely made me laugh.

KAMILLE LOUISE MASCHUE said...

those videos are FREAKIN HILARIOUS hahahahaha love it

myrtle said...

WoW! that so darn awesome.
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