First off, here is my oldest sister named Katie. She is the one on the right.
This is sister number 2, Rylee. She is (probably) (currently) my 4th least favorite sister.
Chelsee, number 3. She is the 'non-existent' one.
Markee, number 4. She's the crazy one.
Each of them is a wife. Each of them is a mother. But today I ask you...have they done enough?
Have they done enough to bring joy into my life? I'll be the first to admit that they have brought SOME joy to my life. On a joy scale of 1 to 10 they have brought me 10. Their names are:
I am here to give the answer. It is NOT enough.
Some may accuse me of being selfish. Other still might say it's none of my business. But the following mathematical equation should help us all to understand:
ninos + uncle race > everything else in the world
That was approved by science.
Now, I'm sure all the sisters will have separate excuses. For instance:
Katie: I'm reaching the age where child bearing is no longer physically possible.
Me: Katie, you are old but you still have some kids under your belt (pun)
Rylee: I just had a baby. I'm the last on the candidates list.
Me: Man up, this is my happiness we are talking about.
Chelsee: (inaudible meek whisper)
Me: I don't care if your current children are monsters! They are cute monsters!
Markee: But the next one might come out looking like me instead of its daddy.
Me: Thats not a....ok actually that is a pretty legit excuse.
If my sisters would stop being so selfish and start being a little more fertile, my life would be even greater than it currently is.
I would go instantly to an 11 on a scale of 10.
But really sisters this is a tribute to you and your uteri. You are good moms and your kids are highly cute.
My conclusion is that if you have the ability to produce such precious ninos, you have the RESPONSIBILITY to produce precious ninos.
I hereby issue a decree: THE FIRST SISTER TO BEAR THE NEXT CHILD WILL RECEIVE THE FOLLOWING PRIZES
- The privilege of naming the munchkin after me. Race if its a boy and Raciena if its a girl.
- I will give your big pregnant feet a massage at any point during your gestation. Limit one massage per pregnancy.
- I will personally buy you whatever psychotic food you may be craving during said pregnancy (tuna and ice cream, pickle and peanut butter sandwiches etc.). This of course only applies if you live in the same city that I live in. Which none of you do :)
Now get crackin!