I am currently in a blogging contest, and by clicking on that button you are helping me get one step closer to winning the contest, which means I get a new Amazon Kindle.
Now, with all the Presidential debates going on right now on TV you are probably tired of hearing all the mudslinging and the campaign talk.
I will now give you a list of simple reasons why you should click
that blue button (vote for me)
- I am not running for President of the United States (yet).
- I am currently the only American man in the contest (for real).
- I am not a member of the Ku Klux Klan. (No one should be.)
- I have been nominated multiple times as "best uncle" by the 10 members of my niece and nephew jury.
- I speak Spanish (ole!).
- I wore an argyle sweater to church yesterday.
- I was once stung by a jelly fish.
- I am a poor college student.
- I love using parenthesis (I'm not really sure why).
- I do not have an Amazon Kindle (yet)
In that case, here is a list of empty promises. If I win I will:
- Withdraw all American troops from Antarctica.
- Make it illegal to sell packages of 10 hot dogs along side packages of only 8 buns.
- Form a stronger trade alliance with France so that we can get cheaper French Vanilla Ice Cream.
- Declare every Friday "National Ice Cream Day" (see number 3).
- Outlaw the production of Speedos (you know you want it to happen).
- Place Nicholas Cage at the top of the "Worst Actors" list.
- Make blog-stalking an Olympic sport
- Un-make swimming an Olympic sport (see number 5).
- Declare "The Andy Griffith Show" to be the official American television show.
- Stop the production of candy corn (NOBODY likes that stuff)
- Pass a law limiting the amount of cologne a man can put on before entering an elevator.
- Declare The Jonas Brothers to be public enemy number 1. And 2. And 3.
If you have already voted, pull out your cell phone immediately and call the person whom you can influence the easiest. Get them to vote for the Collog.
VOTE FOR ME!