Monday, November 7, 2011

Blogging Contest: Why You Should Vote for Me

You will all notice that right at the top of this page there is a little blue button that says "click to vote" on it.

I am currently in a blogging contest, and by clicking on that button you are helping me get one step closer to winning the contest, which means I get a new Amazon Kindle.

Now, with all the Presidential debates going on right now on TV you are probably tired of hearing all the mudslinging and the campaign talk.

I will now give you a list of simple reasons why you should click
that blue button (vote for me)

  1. I am not running for President of the United States (yet).

  2. I am currently the only American man in the contest (for real).

  3. I am not a member of the Ku Klux Klan. (No one should be.)

  4. I have been nominated multiple times as "best uncle" by the 10 members of my niece and nephew jury.

  5. I speak Spanish (ole!).

  6. I wore an argyle sweater to church yesterday.

  7. I was once stung by a jelly fish.

  8. I am a poor college student.

  9. I love using parenthesis (I'm not really sure why).

  10. I do not have an Amazon Kindle (yet)
If that doesn't convince you, only empty promises will.

In that case, here is a list of empty promises. If I win I will:

  1. Withdraw all American troops from Antarctica.

  2. Make it illegal to sell packages of 10 hot dogs along side packages of only 8 buns.

  3. Form a stronger trade alliance with France so that we can get cheaper French Vanilla Ice Cream.

  4. Declare every Friday "National Ice Cream Day" (see number 3).

  5. Outlaw the production of Speedos (you know you want it to happen).

  6. Place Nicholas Cage at the top of the "Worst Actors" list.

  7. Make blog-stalking an Olympic sport

  8. Un-make swimming an Olympic sport (see number 5).

  9. Declare "The Andy Griffith Show" to be the official American television show.

  10. Stop the production of candy corn (NOBODY likes that stuff)

  11. Pass a law limiting the amount of cologne a man can put on before entering an elevator.

  12. Declare The Jonas Brothers to be public enemy number 1. And 2. And 3.
The contest ends the 18th of November, which means that we still have several days to rake in the votes.

If you have already voted, pull out your cell phone immediately and call the person whom you can influence the easiest. Get them to vote for the Collog.



Rylee said...

ryder's favorite flavor is "french Banilla ice cream." if he had his own device, he'd vote for you!

Kates said...

Love the pic!

Tami said...

oh Race-o-roni. I voted for you. And my mom sent out a mass foreword to all my siblings to do so as well. :) You should win. Your blog.. or shall I say collog is awesome.

rsctt603 said...

LOL..great picture! they all should pose that way on the campaign trail...LOL

JLTan said...

I enjoyed your list, but I did not find it convincing.

CCTVkarachi said...

This is not the first of your posts I've read, and you never cease to amaze me. Thank you, and I look forward to reading more.
CCTV karachi

Brenda said...

I just happened upon your blog, and obviously missed the deadline to vote for you...but I would've!
I am afraid to say, however, that I do like candy corn, only a small hand full tho'.
Sounds like you have a rich life!

Sas627 said...

I mostly agree but i,3 candy corn'

Stephanie said...

Alright... I can't help but continue to read down your blog and I'll try to stop commenting but I had to let you know that this makes me (: and llol (legitly laugh out loud)and I'm officially hooked on your writing.

Stephanie said...

(Oh, and I have to say I'm a fan of Nicholas Cage, but you redeemed yourself with #12)