Friday, June 29, 2012

The Least Exciting Post Ever

I apologize in advance for how boring this post is.

I should be posting regularly from now on. My schedule is busy here at the school, but that somehow motivates me to schedule time for the Bigham Yog. Weird.

To start off, let me tell you the story of "The Phantom Roommate".  Even though it isn't that good,

Several months ago I came to this apartment complex and let them know that I needed an apartment for the summer. I told them who I wanted to live with.

They smiled, said "we have an open spot in that apartment, we'll put you in there!" and I went away happy.

When I arrived to claim my apartment I was informed that there never HAD been a space in that apartment. They had already placed another person in that spot before they promised it to me. I was informed that a spot was being saved for me a few apartments down.

The only problem with all this was that I had already moved all my stuff into the first apartment. I had the bed made, I had begun to fung shue the rooms, I was at home!

I decided that I was going to stay in that apartment until the "phantom roommate" showed up to take it from me. When that happened we would settle it like mountain goats: HEAD BUTTING!

So I squatted in my apartment for over a week, waiting for someone to come and claim it as theirs.

One of the big side effects of being a squatter was that I did not have a key. So when I left for class in the morning, there was no guarantee that I could get back in that afternoon. That did happen a few times. Locked out.

Eventually, we discovered that it was a mistake in paperwork. The apartment was empty after all. After speaking with the main office and strategically answering some questions (NOT LYING! There is a difference) I got put into the apartment they had promised me in the beginning.

See, it wasn't that good of a story.

Needless to say, I am not too impressed with the management here.

But don't tell them I said that, they may take away my pool privileges.

Speaking of my apartment (that I now have a key to. Boo ya!) would you like a tour?


 Well here is our trash can. As you can see, we like the leche.
 This is my bed and desk. You've seen one college bedroom, you've seen them all.
 Here is our bathroom. For six dudes, I think that its impressively clean.
 Two other guys live in the same room with me, this is where Ray and Tyler (formerly known on this blog as my companion Elder Moore) sleep and study.
 This is our living room, notice the fashionable couches.
 This, my friends, is a staple of any college apartment. The Nintendo 64 with the obligatory Mario Cart game. This is the Cary Grant of electronic entertainment: classy and timeless.
 Here is the rest of the kitchen. Again, impressively tidy if you ask me.
 Here is the space under the stairs that we use for food storage. Notice the stockpiled cold cereal and instant soup.
And there is my fridge. This is truly a boring post.

If you have nothing better to do than look at the contents of my refrigerator and read what I have to say about it, you have way too much time on your hands.

To change subjects, let's talk about BYU. This is a big adjustment for me!

I am just a simple bumpkin from Eagar, Arizona. They have so much stuff here that I am not used to, like this "electricity" stuff.

And did you know that up here the bathrooms are INSIDE the house? Wow!

Ok, so that might be an exaggeration. It is interesting to note that the number of academic and administrative staff personnel at BYU is about equal to the entire population of Eagar, Arizona.

So I do feel like a small fish on a big privately-owned, religiously affiliated University campus.

That being said, I have also found out that BYU is a place where:

(watch the video for dramatic effect)

Where everybody know your name! Yes, that's right, BYU is just like "Cheers". Minus the alcohol.

But it can be a place where everybody knows your name, and I think one of the sweetest sounds is hearing my name shouted down a hall or across campus by some friend of mine that sees me on passing by.

In my roughly 10 days of class here, I have seen 13 people that I know.

4 from Eagar
5 from EAC
3 from my mission in Guatemala
1 from Mesa

I see about 1 person every day that I know.

So to that person who would say "Its a big campus" I say "It's a small world".

I wont put up the "Its a small world video". Its better to have the Cheers theme song stuck in your head.

As a final thought on this boring post, I would add that I am now looking for a job in Provo. So to all of you who have connections up here, hook me up!

I prefer high pay checks, short hours, cute receptionists, and no responsibilities. Can we find me one like that?

You know, like Congressman or something. :)

Honestly, I like working and would love a job that would push me. So even if we have to kidnap someone to free up some space in the job market, I am now asking you- the loyal patrons of the Brigham Yog- to help me find employment.

I'll let you know as soon as I find something. I am diligently on the hunt.

Have a great day! I'm off to my Shakespeare class!


Erin said...

Everyone needs to have a post filled with pictures of their new digs.

I wasn't bored and I read the whole thing! Shakespeare is so fun and I'm jealous you have a Shakespeare class. You should one of these days write a post in Shakespearian (the language). haha.

have fun in your apartment that wasn't your apartment that was your apartment.

The Tanner and Bryan Experience said...

A couple things:
-That is the most full refrigerator I have ever seen in a guys apartment
-6 guys in 1 bathroom? Are you familiar with the scientific experiment "The Rats of NIMH?" You are being exploited.
-The best way to get a job is to meet people in different departments and get a job through them. Its true in the world (and especially in church schools) that its not what you know, its who you know.
-Hopefully the campus is big enough so that if a relationship ever goes south there won't be much risk of seeing them again.